For the Love Of...

Dear Lord,

relying on your promises to us, I turn to you in trust that my mother is with you and that she is enjoying your loving embrace. You alone know how she loved the best she could and how she faithfully endured the struggles that she faced. You know the graces you gave her and you know the grace she was for me and for so many.

For all the ways she truly loved the way you loved her, please reward her, Lord. May she enjoy the communion of all her family and friends who are with you.

Lord, I know my mother still loves us who are still here on earth. I ask you that you might listen to her fervent prayers for us. Help me to grow into a new and deeper relationship with my mother now, as I long for the day when we will both meet in your embrace - freed from all that might have hindered our relationship on earth, knowing and understanding everything we did not know or understand on this earth.

I ask you this with faith in the resurrection, trusting my mother’s love, and desiring that she know my love for her.

Amen.

I’m an expert at pushing the people who care away..
I’m not afraid to admit that I AM afraid.
Too afraid to accept love without over-thinking & fearing the consequences.

Life’s about taking chances though, right?
I’m not that brave… Not anymore.

So don’t put a heart with good intentions in front of me.
I wouldn’t know what to do with it.
I wouldn’t know how to care for it..

I’m comfortable with the unofficial,
with the idea of not knowing what’s next.
I’m emotionally unavailable,
and yes it scares me too.
But its a very big part of what keeps me sane.

No promises of the love that I am unable to give are made.
My morals & value won’t allow me to be selfish.
I refuse to give false hope to anyone knowing that I am unwilling to let up.
So don’t count on me to play hero to your heart.

I’m comfortable with not taking things so seriously.
It keeps a smile on my face.
No one gets hurt.
We all keep breathing.
The cycle of life continues.

Don’t ask me to give of my heart either.
At least not until I believe in love again.
Because at this moment, it is without feeling.

Don’t wait for me.
I can’t put a time frame on my state of mind.

Don’t push me.
You won’t succeed. My stubborn nature won’t allow it.

Don’t depend on me.
I’m human with more flaws than I would like to admit to.
I can never guarantee that I won’t let you down.

Don’t tell me you love me.
Sometimes the truth won’t make you happy, still I refuse to lie.

*

I’ve held on for far too long, no realizing that its only hurting me.

There are so many moments that we wish could last forever

…People you don’t want to let go of.

So you constantly pray for the good times, but they too won’t last forever.

 And so I’m letting go, and letting life unfold in its own way

We don’t receive nearly as much as we give of it.
We all long for it.
We all need it.

But how do we treat it?
When we know its there to stay we take advantage.
We abuse it,
Because we tend to think we’re entitled to it.
And that in one way or another, it’ll come back to us.

Your first crush.
Annoying little sister.
Random guy on the street.
Mom.
Weirdo in the back of the class.

They yearn for it just like you do.
Love does not always come in the form of romance.

Being able to respect,accept and embrace the differences in the people surrounding you…is genuine love.

Don’t wait for something to happen to remind those people that you love.
You don’t necessarily have to say it everyday either.

If its genuine, it will be evident in your actions _♥♥